Reflections
by Greathe
Summary: Drabble. Pre-movie. Merida understood her mother far more than she ever let on… (Also, the accent is heavy. I apologize if that bothers anyone.)


**Disclaimer: The following is a work of fiction based on the movie Brave, which is owned by Disney Pixar. I own absolutely nothing, do not claim to own anything, and am making no profit off of this story. I am only making use of the characters in order to tell a story.**

**Summary: Pre-movie. Merida understood her mother far more than she ever let on…**

**A/N I'm not sure whether this would be called a drabble or a one-shot. I've been wanting to write a Brave fanfic for a while now, but I've been stuck because I really need access to the movie to write the one I want to write, and I don't at the moment. But this occurred to me, so I wrote it out. This is a "Pre-Movie" Merida (though since it takes place after the opening scene that is a bit of a misnomer) but even though it's from her viewpoint it explores Queen Elinor's motivations a lot more.**

**Special thanks to Vaneria Potter and gabthebomb for acting as betas for this story.**

Ye know what? Sometimes I feel like my entire life has been defined by one moment. Which seems entirely unfair, don't ye think? It was a stupid accident; somethin' that was ne'er meant tae happen at all. But that attack by Mor'du changed everythin'. I didne understand it then; I'm nae sure I completely understand it now tae be honest. But I'm beginnin' tae.

At the time, I didne think it would be life alterin'. It was frightenin', tae be sure; probably one ay the scariest moments ay my life. But it turned out all right, for the most part. Okay, there was da's leg, and that was an adjustment for us all. It took me a week before I could look at it without burstin' intae tears. I blamed myself tae be honest. But ye and da' were quick tae dissuade me ay that notion.

And da' didnae change much. I would ay understood it if he had. He lost his leg. That sort ay thing can leave scars beyond the physical. But he was fine in every sense ay the word; perhaps a bit slower than he was before, but still as wild as he ever was. At times I forget about his leg completely. He hasnae let it change him.

Nae mum, da' wasnae the one who changed. Ye were.

At first it was subtle. Ye became more outspoken against my learnin' archery. I mean ye were uncomfortable with it before, but ye became a bloody tyrant on the subject. Ye were insistent enough that da' eventually hudtae teach me in secret. Ye started me on my lessons with ye in earnest. At first I was excited about spendin' sae much time with ye, but ye were all business durin' our lessons. Ye were downright cold tae me at times. I started to resent the lessons because ye stopped bein' my mum durin' them. Ye became the Queen instead.

I'm sure there are other things I dornt remember. I was young. I didnae pay attention all the time, an' I'm not sure I'd have known the significance if I did. Outside ay the lessons, things were still mostly the way they were before. It wasnae until the triplets were born that the gap began to grow outside ay the lessons. I think the two things werenae related, other than that was the moment ye realized I was growing up. After that the fights began. Ye were tryin' to cut me off from all ay the things I enjoy; ridin', archery, the forests. Ye wanted to turn me into a proper, borin' lady; the type who needs a man to do things for her. And I've ne'er been interested in that

Things hae been downhill ever since. What started as a slight gap between us has spread tae become a wide crevice. It becomes harder and harder tae see eye to eye when ye can barely see the person yer trying tae compromise with. An' harder still when that person isnae willin' tae compromise with ye. An' for the life ay me, I dorn't want tae fight with ye. I miss the way things use tae be between us.

I've been thinkin' about this for days now, tryin' to figure out what went wrong. An' it took a while, but it all kept comin' back to that day. That attack. Mor'du.

How much did seein' me nearly mauled by that blasted bear frighten ye, mum, that ye'd try so hard to shut me away from the world? Maybe it wasnae just me, but da' as well. Ye couldnae do anything tae protect him; he's a warrior king. There are certain expectations from that. Ye cannae really protect the triplets either. Men are expected tae be warriors.

But ye could protect me. All ye had to do was change everythin' about me. Turn me into a whimpering, docile lady, who never so much as ventures into the town without a royal guard, much less intae the forests. A girl who allows a man, her husband, to do all ay her fightin' for her. If ye had yer way, ye'd turn me intae a docile, sweet, idiot of a girl who is content to sit in her room weavin' and singin' and bein' absolutely inconsequential.

I still cannae wrap my mind around how ye, a woman who is a pillar ay strength to the people, could want tae transform me into a mindless little doll. How could ye try to force me tae be somethin' I'm nae? Out ay some twisted desire tae protect me? I dinae want to be protected like that. Ye cannae just shield me from the world. An' I cannae change everythin' I am just to make ye feel like I'm safe. I worn't do it. I worn't do that just because yer scared. I cannae do it. But I donae want tae fight with ye mum. I just want things to be better.

An' things will get better. They will. I promise.

Just as soon as I work up the nerve tae say this tae ye, instead ay tae my reflection.

**A/N: I hope nobody feels like this is a condemnation of Elinor; remember that this is from Merida's point of view, and things from the view of a 16 year old are rarely communicated without exaggeration. For example, I don't think Elinor really wanted Merida to be mindless. But I do feel like this is one of the motivators for Elinor, one that is never said out loud in the film but that explains a lot about the character. Seeing your child being put in harms way can change a person.**


End file.
